Singular moments: family snapshots over 44 years
In February, a short interval mid-month included Chinese New Year’s Day (12th), Valentine’s Day (14th), and Canada Family Day (15th). Surrounding this auspicious interval on both sides were: my mother succumbing to cancer (3rd), and her funeral and burial (17th). She missed her 90th birthday by a mere 6 weeks.
In the weeks following that massive tremor, a heavy cloak of sadness clings on, interrupted occasionally by aftershocks in snippets of truth containing memory and regret. I get to relive the entire process of a parent’s death all over again; with Dad in 2014 and Mom in 2021, the double is anguish with complete finality.
For a long time, I’ve often questioned how much value there was in a family unit, given our inability to verbalize or communicate forms of positive emotional feedback. This post is a short examination of that question in a selection of images. I have to give Mom and Dad credit: they loved pictures of the family, in clear physical evidence by the scatter of photobooks and piles throughout the house. Few will ask whether a photograph at any given time can effectively capture the idea or mood of the moment. The true irony is the future value of that photograph as a means of time travel, back and forth, over and through giant waves of grief.
A family of four, 1970-2014
Mom and Dad look young and vibrant, anticipating the promise of their children …
Early 1970s.
Queen Elizabeth Park, 1971.
Cleveland Dam, 16 June 1973.
Victoria, 1 July 1973.
Department-store portrait studio (Eaton’s), June 1975.
University of British Columbia, 1977.
Department-store portrait studio (Hudson’s Bay Company), May 1982.
My sister’s high school graduation, 1987.
My graduation from university, 1990.
Christmas brunch at Hotel Vancouver, early-1990s.
At my sister’s wedding, 1998.
At dim sum/yum cha, 2010s.
Proud grandparents, July 2013.
At dim sum/yum cha, shortly before Dad’s passing: June 2014.
In both Toisan (Hoisan, 台山話) and Cantonese (廣東話), the number 4 (四) is considered unlucky, because the character sounds very much like the word for death (死).
Big nods to staff at the BC Ambulance Service, St. Paul’s Hospital, and Vancouver General Hospital for their service and dedication to their patients; I’m particularly grateful for their direct yet sensitive treatment of both Mom and Dad. I acknowledge Tina for LAPC no. 139 in the week of 13-19 Mar 2021. Except for one image from Victoria, all other images are from greater Vancouver, BC, Canada. Most images on display are digital photos of physical photographs; other images are direct from my camera or from my sister’s mobile phone. This post appears on Fotoeins Fotografie at fotoeins DOT com as https://wp.me/p1BIdT-kwc.
Fotoeins Fotografie 
10 Responses to “Singular moments: family snapshots over 44 years”
Henry, how tragic, that you have lost both of your parents through their suffering of cancer. It is s strange feeling to us, when loosing our parents, gone for ever, can’t never ask them questions or sharing our stories anymore. Yet as your photographs tell, there the memories of good times they will always remain in our hearts. Henry , thank you so much for sharing all these wonderful family pictures. Be well and safe.
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In hindsight Henry, how important those photos of family memories are! While sad for the passing of your parents, I envy you their long lives. My parents passed at 67 and 70. Soon I’ll be older than either of then had the chance to be. I too treasure my images of our family and am glad that my grandmother and my dad both saved our family histories in their images. I’ve carried on the family tradition although honestly I don’t think my 4 brothers have yet realized the importance of these moments in our lives. Good for you for honoring the family history.
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Thank you for your kind comments, Tina.
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Wow. What an incredible series. Special and precious. Well done.
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Thanks, John.
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Thank you so much, Henry for sharing these beautiful family photos and precious memories!
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Thanks for your comment, Amy!
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What a priceless treasure! Sorry to hear about your loss Henry, no words will ever take away the pain and grief. An honored post indeed!
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Hi, Xandré; thank you for your kind comment. Great to hear from you: all the best to you and your family.
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[…] anything or anyone try to describe or summarize a life lived over 8 to 9 decades? I tried with a glimpse at our family of four. Below is a brief look at Mom through a number of images: young woman in Hong Kong, immigrant […]
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